Wall Street Hits Record Highs Because Inflation Decided to Chill Out

In today's news from the land of the moneyed elite, Wall Street's major indexes threw a record-breaking party. The S&P 500 and Nasdaq got so excited about the latest inflation data that they jumped over 1%, while the Dow Jones strutted closer to the big 40,000 like a peacock on Wall Street.

The big news? Inflation decided to take a nap. That's right, folks, the consumer price index (CPI) rose less than expected, making investors hopeful that the Federal Reserve might finally cut interest rates. It's like finding out your landlord forgot to raise the rent this year – everyone’s breathing easier.

Tech stocks were the life of the party, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average adding 349.89 points, getting dangerously close to 40,000. The S&P 500 rose 61.47 points, while the Nasdaq shot up 231.21 points. Apparently, the market loves it when the economy takes a chill pill.

Carol Schleif, a big deal at BMO Family Office, put it bluntly: “It’s a relief we didn’t have a fourth hot CPI report.” In other words, Wall Street was sweating bullets, but now they can loosen their ties and party.

Meanwhile, retail sales were flatter than a pancake in April, because apparently, everyone blew their budget on gas. Who needs new shoes when you can have a full tank, right?

Microsoft and Apple joined the tech stock party, rising 1.7% and 1.2% respectively. And let's not forget Super Micro Computer Inc., which jumped a whopping 15.8%, proving that betting on AI is the new black.

But not everyone was invited to the celebration. Retail giant Walmart saw its shares dip slightly as investors anxiously awaited its quarterly report. And GameStop, that meme stock darling, fell nearly 19% because even "Roaring Kitty" couldn't keep the hype going.

Trading volume was high, with nearly 15 billion shares changing hands, because why not? It’s a bull market and everyone wants a piece of the action.

In summary, Wall Street celebrated like it was 1999, thanks to inflation taking a break. If only we could convince it to take an extended vacation.